银河国际官方网站|Real fight between couple: they ask for freedom

Why is it I feel fully alive only when I am in love? I tell myself that be able to spark myself w the other, but so far no luck.Is this some stupid “waiting for Godot” game I am playing with myself? When the last love affair ended to myself I was not going to let the same ol process happen, but here I am again feeling half alive, waiting for him to come.奥修，为什么只有在爱人里我才深感充满活力？我告诉他自己，即便没对方，我也应当需要激励自己，但到目前为止我并不走运。我是在跟自己玩游戏可笑的“等候戈多”游戏吗？上一段爱情完结时，我对自己誓言，我会让这种死气沉沉的过程再次发生，但在这里，我又实在自己半死不活了，在等着他回去。

奥修（OSHO）:rem Idama, ONE REMAINS in the need of the other to that point, up to that experience, when one enters into one’s own core. Unless one knows oneself one remains in the need of the other. But the need of the other is very para; its nature is para.rem Idama（提问者），在一个人转入自己内在深达的核心之前，他总是必须对方。除非一个人告诉自己，否则他不会一直必须对方。但对对方的必须是十分对立的，它的本质就是对立的。

When you are alone you feel lonely, you feel the other is missed; your life seems to be only half. It loses joy, it loses flow, flowering; it remains un.一个人时，你实在寂寞，你实在缺乏了对方，你的生命看上去只有一半。它丧失了喜乐，它丧失了流动和绽放，它一直缺少孕育。If you are with the other, then a new problem arises because the other starts encroaching on your space. He starts making con upon you, he starts things from you, he starts your freedom – and that hurts.如果你跟别人在一起，接着新的问题经常出现了，因为对方开始侵害你的空间。他开始规定你要这样那样，他开始对你有所拒绝，他开始毁坏你的权利——那令人心痛。

o when you are with somebody, only for a few days when the honeymoon is still there... and the more you are, the smaller will be the honeymoon, remember. Only for utterly stup it can be a long affair; people it can he a l thing.所以当你跟别人在一起时，只有几天时间，当蜜月期还没有完结……你就越聪慧，蜜月期就越高，忘记。只有对于那些可笑透顶的人来说，它才能是一段持久的爱情。对于不灵敏的人，它可以是一辈子的事。

ut if you are , sensitive, soon you will realize that what you have done. The other is your freedom, an you become aware that you need your freedom because freedom is of value. And you never to bother with the other.但是如果你聪慧、灵敏，迅速你不会意识到自己做到了什么。对方在毁坏你的权利，忽然你意识到你必须自己的权利，因为权利弥足珍贵。你要求总有一天都不要为对方而烦心。

Again when you are alone you are free, but something is m – because your aloneness is not true aloneness; it is only loneliness, it is a negative state. You forget all about freedom. Free you are, but what to do with this freedom? Love is not there, and both are essential needs.再行一次，一个人时你实在权利，但缺乏了某些东西——因为你的分开并非确实的分开，它只是寂寞而已，它是一种消极的状态。你把权利岂的一干二净。

你是权利了，但你要拿这份权利干什么？没爱人在。爱人和权利都是显然市场需求。

And up to now humanity has lived in such an way that you can fulfill only one nee you can be free, but then you have to drop the idea of love...直到目前，人类活在十分可怕，以至于你不能符合一个市场需求：要么你权利，但这样的话你必需拿起爱人的点子……That’s what monks and nuns of all the rel have been doing: drop the idea of love, you are free; there is nobody to hinder you, there is nobody to with you, nobody to make any , nobody to possess you. But then their life becomes cold, almost dead.这就是宗教里和尚、尼姑们仍然在做到的，拿起爱人的点子，你权利了，没有人不会阻碍你，没有人不会干预你，没有人不会对你发号施令，没有人不会占据你。但紧接着，他们的生命显得高傲，奄奄一息。You can go to any monastery and look at the monks and the nuns: their life is ugly. It stinks of death; it is not fragrant with life. There is no dance, no joy, no song. All songs have , all joy is dead.你可以去任何寺院，看一看那些和尚尼姑：他们的生命是古怪的。

它弥漫着丧生的腐臭，它没生命的芬芳。没舞蹈，没喜乐，没歌。所有的歌都消失了，所有的喜乐都杀了。

They are paralyzed – how they can dance? They are cr – how they can dance? There is nothing to dance about. Their energies are stuck, they are no more flowing. For the flow the other is needed; w the other there is no flow.他们是痉挛的——他们怎么能跳跃的跳起来？他们是失明的——他们怎么能跳跃的跳起来？没什么是好庆典和舞蹈的。他们的能量卡住了，他们仍然流动。要流动，对方是必须的，没对方就没流动。

And the majority of humanity has for love an the idea of freedom. Then people are living like slaves. Man has reduced the woman into a thing, a commodity, and of course the woman has done the same in her own subtle way: she has made all the husbands henpecked.绝大多数人要求要爱人，他们退出了权利的点子。他们活的跟奴隶一样。男人早已把女人贬成了东西，一件商品，当然女人也精妙的对男人做到了某种程度的事：她把所有的丈夫都变为了妻管严（怕老婆的男人）。I have heard: In New York a few henpecke joine together. They made a club to protest, to fight – Men’s L Movement, or something like that! And of course they chose one of the most henpecke the president of the club.我听闻：纽约一些妻管严牵头一起，他们重新组建了一个俱乐部来抗议、斗争——他们搞起了男人解放运动，诸如此类。

当然，他们中选了一个最怕老婆的男人兼任俱乐部主席。The first meeting happened, but the president never Turned up. They were all worried. They all rushed to his home and they asked him, ”What is the matter? Have you forgotten?”首次会晤开始了，但主席没经常出现。他们都很担忧。

他们冲到他家，回答他，“究竟怎么了？你忘了吗？”He said, “No, but my wife won’t allow me. She says,‘You go out, and I will never allow you in!’ And that much risk take.”他说道，“没，但我老婆不想我去。她说道，‘你要是不敢外出，就致敬别回去！’那个风险我可忍受不起。”I have hear the doors of paradise there are two boards – there are two doors in fact. On one board is written: ”Those who are henpecke stand here.” This is the door for them, and the other is for those few rare human beings who are not henpecked.我听闻天堂的大门上有两块牌子——事实上有两个门。一个牌子上写出着，“妻管严车站这里。

”这是为他们打算的门，另一扇门是给那些不是妻管严的极少数人打算的。t. Peter has been waiting an that some day somebody will turn who will stand on the other door which is not meant for the hen-pecked ones, but nobody ever stood on that gate.圣彼得仍然在等，有一天不是妻管严的人会车站在另一扇门前，但至今还没有人车站在那扇门前。

One day St. Peter was surprised: a very small, thin, weak man came an there. Peter was puzzled, amazed. He asked the man, ”Can you read?”有一天圣彼得很吃惊：一个十分矮小身材矮小的人站过来了。彼得很疑惑很吃惊。

他回答那个男人，“你识字吗？”He said, ”Yes, I can read – I am a Ph.D., a professor of ph!”他说道，“是的，我识字，我是一个哲学教授。”Then Peter said, ”This door is meant only for those who are not henpecke. Why you are standing here when the whole queue is standing at the other door?”圣彼得说道，“这扇门只为那些不怕老婆的人而进。大家都车站在另一扇门前，为什么你要车站在这里？”He said, ”What can I do? My wife has told me to stand here! And even if GOD says to me, leave this place unless my wife allows!”他说道，“我有什么办法。

我老婆让我车站这里！即便上帝要对我对讲机，我也无法离开了这个地方，除非我老婆容许！”Man has reduce into a slave and the woman has reduced man into a slave. And of course both hate the slavery, both resist it. They are constantly f; any small excuse and the fight starts.男人把女人贬成了奴隶，女人也把男人贬成了奴隶。当然他们都憎恶被奴役，他们都抵抗。他们叫醒个不时，只要有任何小借口，他们就开始叫醒。

ut the real fight is somewhere else deep down; the real fight is that they are asking for freedom.但确实的争执/冲突在某些深层的地方，确实的冲突在于他们在拒绝权利。They cannot say it so clearly, they may have forgotten completely. For thousands of years this is the way people have lived. They have seen their father an mother have lived the same way, they have seen their gran have lived in the same way... this is the way people live – they have accepted it. Their freedom is .他们没有办法这么明晰的说道出来，他们也许早已几乎记得了。几千年年来，人们就是这样活的。

他们看见自己的父亲，自己的母亲这样活，他们看见自己的祖父母这样活……人们就是这样活的，他们早已拒绝接受了这一点。他们的权利被毁坏了。

It is as if we are trying to fly in the sky with one wing. Few people have the wing of love and a few people have the wing of freedom – both are of flying. Both the wings are needed.那就看起来，我们试图用一只翅膀飞过天空。很少人有爱的翅膀，很少人有权利的翅膀——这两个翅膀都能飞，但两个翅膀都是必须的。Idama, you say: WHY IS IT I FEEL FULLY ALIVE ONLY WHEN L AM IN LOVE?Idama，你说道，“为什么只有在爱人里我才深感充满活力？”It is perfectly natural, there is nothing wrong in it. It is how it should be. Love is a natural need; it is like food. If you are hungry, of course you will feel a deep unease. W love your soul is hungry; love is a soul nour.这再行大自然不过，它没任何拢。

它就是这样。爱人是一种大自然的必须，它就像食物。

如果你吃饱了，当然你不会深感十分懊恼。没爱人，你的灵魂也不会可怜，爱人是灵魂的孕育。

Just as body needs food, water, air, the soul needs love. But the soul also needs freedom, and it is one of the most strange things that we have not accepted this fact yet.就像身体必须食物、水、空气，灵魂必须爱人。但灵魂也必须权利，最奇怪的是，我们还没拒绝接受这一事实。If you love there is no need to your freedom. They both can exist together; there is no antagonism between them. It is because of our fool that we have created the antagonism.如果你爱人，就没毁坏你权利的适当。它们能并存，它们之前没对付。

因为我们的可笑，我们生产出有了矛盾。Hence the monks think the worldly people are fools, and the worldly people deep down know that the monks are fools – they are m all the joys of life.所以，和尚们指出世俗之人是傻瓜，世俗之人内心深处也告诉，那些和尚是傻瓜——他们错失了生命的喜乐。

A great priest was asked, ”What is love?”有人问一个最出色的牧师，“什么是爱人？”The priest said, ”A word made up of two vowels, two consonants and two fools!”牧师说道，“它是一个由两个元音、两个辅音、两个白痴构成的单词。”That is their con of love. Because all the rel have con love; they have praise very much. In India we call the ultimate experience MOKSHA; MOKSHA means absolute freedom.这是他们在指责爱人。因为所有的宗教都指责爱人，他们十分称赞权利。

在印度，我们称之为那终极的体验为莫克夏，莫克夏的意思是意味著的权利。You say: I TELL MYSELF THAT BE ABLE TO SPARK MYSELF W THE OTHER, BUT SO FAR NO LUCK.你说道，“我告诉他自己，即便没对方，我也应当需要激励自己，但到目前为止我并不走运。

”It will remain so, it will not change. You shoul change your con about love an. Love the person, but give the person total freedom. Love the person, but from the very beg make it clear that you are not selling your freedom.它不会仍然这样，它会转变的。忽略，你应当转变你对爱人与权利的制约。

爱人他，但也给他几乎的权利。爱人他，但从一开始就讲清楚，你会背叛自己的权利。And if you cannot make it happen in THIS commune, here with me, you cannot make it happen anywhere else. This is the beg of a new humanity. Of course it is only a seed now, but soon you will see it will grow in a vast tree.如果你无法让它在这个社区，在我身边再次发生，你在任何别处也无法让它再次发生。

这是一个新的人类的开始。当然现在它还只是一颗种子，但迅速你就不会看见，它会长成一颗参天大树。ut we are exper upon many things. One of the of our experiment is to make love an possible together, their coex together.但我们正在很多事情上实验。

我们的一个实验是，让爱人与权利在一起显得有可能，让它们并存。Love a person but don’t possess, and don’t be possessed. for freedom, and don’t lose love! There is no need. There is no natural enmity between freedom and love; it is a create. Of course for centuries it has been so, so you have become accustome it; it has become a con thing.爱人一个人，但不要占据他，也不要被占据。坚决权利，但不要丧失爱人！没有适当。

爱人跟权利之间没天然的敌意。敌意是人为的。

当然千百年来它仍然如此，所以你早已习惯于它了，它早已被制约了。An ol down South coul speak above a whisper. Leaning on a fence by the side of a country road he was watching a dozen razorbacks in a patch of woodland. Every few m the hogs woul through a hole in the fence, tear across the road to another patch of woodland, an afterwar back again.一个南下的老农民讲话很小声，他大声没法。靠在乡村马路边的围栏上，他看著森林里的一帮野猪。每过几分钟，那老大野猪就不会从围栏的洞里钻过去，横穿马路回到另一片森林，然后又立刻跑完回来。

”What’s the matter with them hogs anyway?” a passing stranger asked.“那些猪究竟怎么了？”一个路经的陌生人问。”There ain’t nothing the matter with them,” the ol wh hoarsely. ”Them hogs belongs to me an I lost my voice I used to call them to their feed. After I lost my voice I used to tap on this fence rail with my stick at feeding time.”“没什么，”杨家农民嘶哑的低声说道到。“那些猪是我的，落泪之前，我常常喊出它们睡觉。

落泪后，喂饭的时候我常常用拐杖敲打这个围栏。”He paused an his hea. ”And now,” he added, ”them cusse up in them trees has got them poor hogs plumb crazy!”他停下，沈重的大笑，“现在，”他补足到，“树上那些简直的啄木鸟早已把这些真是的猪给逼疯了。”Just a con! NOW THOSE WOO ARE THEM HOGS PLUMB CRAZY – because when they do the knocking they rush, th that it is food time.只是一个制约！现在那些啄木鸟在把那些野猪逼疯——因为当它们鹦鹉木头时，猪就开始飞驰，它们以为到吃饭时间了。

That’s what is happening to humanity.这就是再次发生在人类身上的事情。One of the of Pavlov, the founder of the con reflex – the of the theory of the con reflex – was trying an experiment on the same lines. He bought a puppy an to con him to stand up and bark for his food. He held the pup’s food just out of reach, barked a few times, then set it on the floor before him. The idea was that the pup woul standing up an with getting his food an to do so when hungry.条件反射之父、条件反射理论发现者巴普洛夫的一个学生，正在做到某种程度的实验。他买了一只小狗，要求制约它车站一起、叫唤食物。他把狗粮拿在手里，让它不够将近，他学狗叫了几下后，就把狗粮放到面前的地板上。

他就让，小狗不会把双脚跟叫唤食物联系在一起，学会每次吃饱了就这样做到。This went on for about a week, but the little dog failed to learn. After another week the man gave up the experiment an put the food down before the dog, but the pup refused to eat it. He was waiting for his master to stand and bark! Now he ha con.这持续了大约一个礼拜，但小狗没有学会。

又过了一周后，这个人退出了实验，必要把狗粮放到小狗面前，但小狗吃。它在等着主人车站一起学狗叫！现在他被制约了。It is only a con, it can be . Just you need, Idama, a little me. Me simply means the process of uncon the mind. Whatsoever the society has done has to be undone.这只是一个制约，你可以拿起它。

Idama，你只必须一点点静心的品质。静心所指的是中止头脑制约的过程。无论社会做到了什么，你都必需将其除去。When you are uncon you will be able to see the beauty of love antogether; they are two aspects of the same coin. If you really love the person you will give him or her absolute freedom – that’s a gift of love. And when there is freedom, love responds tremen.当你中止了制约，你就需要看见爱人与权利在一起的美，它们是同一枚硬币的两面。

如果你知道爱人对方，你不会给他/她几乎的权利——那是爱人的礼物。有了权利，爱人就不会十分对此。When you give freedom to somebody you have given the greatest gift, and love comes rushing towards you.当你给与别人权利，你给的是仅次于的礼物，爱会涌进你。

You ask me: IS THIS SOME STUPID ”WAITING for GODOT” GAME I AM PLAYING WITH MYSELF?你回答我，“我是在跟自己玩游戏可笑的“等候戈多”游戏吗？”o, Idama.不是，Idama。WHEN THE LAST LOVE AFFAIR ENDED, TO MYSELF I WAS NOT GOING TO LET THE SAME OL PROCESS HAPPEN, BUT HERE I AM AGAIN FEELING HALF ALIVE, WAITING FOR HIM TO COME.上一段爱情完结时，我对自己誓言，我会让这种死气沉沉的过程再次发生，但在这里，我又实在自己半死不活了，在等着他回去。ut just by swearing, just by , you cannot change yourself. You have to un. Love is a basic need, as basic as freedom, so both have to be fulfilled.只是誓言，只是下定决心，你转变没法自己。

你必需明白，爱人是一个基本必须，跟权利一样基本，所以两者都必需获得符合。And a man who is full of love AND free is the most beautiful phenomenon in the world. And when two persons of such beauty meet, their relat is not a relat at all. It is a relating. It is a constant, r flow. It is cont growing towards greater heights.一个充满著爱人与权利的人，是世上美丽的现象。当两个这么美的人遇见，他们的关系显然不是一段关系。

它是相连，它是一个持续的、如河流般的流动。它持续的流向更加低处。

The ultimate height of love an is the experience of God. In God you will find both: tremendous love, absolute love, an freedom.爱人与权利的终极高度，是神的体验。在神里你不会找到这两者：无限的爱，意味著的爱，意味著的权利。

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